Self Struggle

April 7, 2014

Romans 7:24-25
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Self Struggle

From my night I look out into the light.
I am drawn by its warmth and love.
There is a love that draws me out of my night.
But then the voices rush in that changes my gears.
They remind me of past hurts, disappointments and fears.
They remind me of all that I enjoy and would need to give up.
So I am drawn back from the light and from drinking His cup.
Back into the security of my unchanging heart.
Back into my dysfunctional darkness of which I’ve so been a part.

I hear the voice speaking into my spirit,
“Would you be made whole?”
“Would you be healed?”
“Would you be delivered and set free?”
Suddenly there is such a strong sense of duality.
Two men warring within me for dominion and victory.
One struggles to keep me in the darkness and need;
Bringing before me fears of change, and shame of my past,
Condemnation of sin and a half empty glass.
And what it will cost me to make the change?
The other man stands in His peace and light of His gain,
Arms extended and the truth of His love inviting me in.
I love the warmth and the peace of His presence,
But then the darkness crowds in, causing me to withdrawal again.

Inwardly I am grieved at my fallen state.
Only fleeting joy, broken promises and empty estate.
I look back over the wastelands of my life.
All I see is heartache, brokenness and strife.
What is my purpose if this life is all there is;
If I continue to choose this self-life instead of His?
His love is faithfully pursuing my wretched soul.
What can He possibly see in this lump of coal?
This time when He invites me, I run with a new reply.
I cast my wretched self upon His grace and cry,
“Change me and fill me with yourself and your love.”
“I would be made whole.”
“I would be healed.”
“I would be delivered and set free.”
Please Lord, take and fill all of me.

The magnitude of His love and peace floods my heart.
I sense His blood cleansing every filthy part.
Hope and joy are now abounding through my soul.
I finally relinquished my will and gave Him full control.
A new day has dawned in this heart and soul of mine.
Transforming power and new direction do I find.
“What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death?
Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

Blessings,
#kent

The Source of Our Life

November 9, 2012

James 1;21-25
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. 22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

The Source of Our Life

Life flows from the inward parts. The source of our life and the well-spring of its origin are manifested in the taste of that which flows out of us. That is why James asks the question in James 3:11, “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” Can there be, should there be, two sources of life flowing out of us? The tongue is what betrays the source of our life. It can not be tamed, but speaks what is in the abundance of our heart.
James is saying that this duality and duplicity of nature is not of God. We produce the fruit of what we are planting within our minds and hearts. If is showing up as ungodliness then it is telling us that Christ isn’t our central and primary source of life.
Within the church and many of our own lives there is such a mixture of flesh and spirit. That is understandable to a degree, we are in the state of change and transformation., While we have been crucified with Christ we should be moving in the direction of that place where we no longer live, but Christ is living in and through us. For that to happen we have to be eating out of the garden and from the seed of His life. We must be in constant communion, fellowship and relationship with Him. When we compartmentalize Christ into just certain areas or times in our lives, then we haven’t fully sold out to His life alone. We are living in spiritual adultery as we drink from other cisterns or wells that are not the waters of His Spirit and life. “Adultery” is an ugly word that we don’t like to hear or relate with, but we have to all ask ourselves, where am I drawing my life continually from? Many of us want a spiritual life, but in a worldly context. Thus we are choosing to partake once again of that which Christ died to deliver us out of.
Jesus says we can’t choose two masters. We can’t be both spiritual and worldly, for in doing so we pollute the waters of His righteousness and life. Listen to what James 4:4-10 says, ” You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? 6But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”
It is not the Lord’s heart to condemn us through this word, but open our eyes to where we are, where we are going and what is being produced through our lives. Yes, we all make mistakes along the way, but where is our heart? What are we living fully for and where are we drawing our strength and life to live in that way? God want us to be the purified flow of His life, producing godly fruit in this world. He wants us to remember where our identity is; in Him and not in this world. The world knows Jesus, by what they see in you and me. If we aren’t the real deal, then how will they ever know or even want the real deal. Live out of the life of God that you may produce the works of God. We are often so quick to judge others when it is ourselves we need to judge and correct.
Come, let us repent before the Lord and return unto Him with our whole hearts. Let us continually and solely drink from the wells of God’s salvation and life.

Blessings,
kent

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