Relationships: God Size Holes

May 22, 2020

Relationships: God Size Holes

Philippians 2:4

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

               A perfect world would be composed of people perfectly and harmoniously interacting with one another.  There would be no selfishness or greed, manipulation or oppression.  Each individual would willingly and in love work toward the good and well being of those they were in relationship with.   Then we flash forward to reality and we observe far too little of this behavior in our world, in our relationships and even in our own attitudes and behavior.  We have ideas in our head of what we visualize a perfect and fulfilling relationship would be, but our dream is always dashed by our reality when people disappoint us and fail to meet the desperate needs we have as individuals.  Most all of us are a mixed bag.  We come with some good attributes and qualities, but we also have our many faults and shortcomings, if not in our eyes then in the eyes of others.   When we take these qualities of relationship into the family dynamic we see the reality of how our theories and ideas operate in the everyday world of living life.  Many, if not most of us, have been disappointed with what we have found.  We’re disappointed with our spouse, our children or others to meet basic desperate needs we have in us and we are frustrated because we often see how much we fail to meet those same types of needs in others.  As a result we live in a war zone of broken homes, marriages and families.  People all around us are emotionally wounded and hurt by the devastation.  Perhaps you are one of those walking wounded today.  You are trying to smile like everything is okay on the outside, while hurting and crying out on the inside. 

               Could it be that we rely far too much on people to meet our needs rather than our relationship with Christ?  While we hurt and wish that someone could really relate with us and meet our emotional needs, I wonder if we are as concerned with how we are meeting emotional needs in God and in others.  My wife made the comment yesterday as we were watching the birds chowing down at the bird feeders, “Do you think that they know that it is us that feeds and provides them with this food?”  It made me think as I responded, “Do you think a lot of people really realize and appreciate that it is God that feeds and cares for them?”  Think how rewarding it would be to have a bird fly up, land on your shoulder and say, “Hey, thanks for providing all of this great food and water.  You are really a blessing in our lives.”  Many of us don’t bother to do that when we sit down to a meal, or get a paycheck or are blessed in the multitude of ways our heavenly Father blesses us.  Yet we are often upset when we don’t feel appreciated or are taken for granted. 

               There are holes in our emotional needs that only a right relationship with God can adequately fill.  It is great when people meet those needs in us, but we all know that with people you will always be disappointed.  Even the best of us have our shortcomings.  While some of us are gifted and blessed with the abilities to communicate, be sensitive to others who aren’t very relational, not everyone else is made up that way.  Yes, we should all work toward having the best relationships possible.  We should work to meet the emotional needs in each other, especially in our spouse and children.  A right relationship with our God will help us to be more loving and sensitive, but it still may not meet all the expectations and desires others may have or require.  Here is where we need to understand that there are some needs in us that only God can and will meet.  Perhaps unhappiness and discontentment are spilling out of us on those around us because we think they are failing us, and maybe they are.  We can’t always expect people, even the ones we love and rely on the most, to meet all the needs we have.  It may not really be in their personality to do so.  We can all, as the body of Christ and as extensions of Christ, seek to maintain the mind and love of Christ toward one another.  If each of us would not look at just what I need or want, but how can I serve and better meet the needs in another?  How can I think of others before I think of myself?  How can I love them as I would myself?  We can all become guilty of being self-centered and focused only on ourselves, our wants and needs.  Sometimes we may find that it is meeting the needs in others that we have in ourselves, that can end up satisfying and completing ourselves in ways we didn’t think possible.  All of us have our strengths and strong points.  Use them as a source of blessing to others.  All of us have our weaknesses and shortcomings.  While we want to continue seeking God’s help in improving on those shortcomings, be patient and longsuffering, not only with others, but also with yourself.  Sometimes there are holes that only God can fill.



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